Lately, I have been quite fascinated with “The Secret“. Yes, the movie from a decade ago which promoted unceasing positive thinking and quickly became an LA cliché . Ten years ago I probably watched The Secret in lotus pose in my West Hollywood bungalow while drinking Kombucha, but it was a non-event. A couple of weeks ago, I decided to buy “The Secret” and the message hit me at a much deeper level. I have watched it a dozen times since and wanted to share my takeaways.
Aha Moment: I have the power to change my life.
Nothing is more empowering than this statement and I believe it is true on every level of my being. I think the difference between watching “The Secret” at 26 versus 36 is life experience. And, if I am being totally honest, at 36, I have my heartaches and disappoints, a divorce. But it turns out, SO WHAT! First, I attracted those things it into my life just like I have every other good and bad situation. Second, I have the power to never make a decision like that again (phew). The power comes from knowing that I am the creator of my thoughts and therefore, what my thoughts attract.
Everything you want is coming. Relax and let the universe pick the timing and the way. You just need to trust that what you want is coming, and watch how fast it comes.
“The Secret” states the future is influenced by The Law of Attraction; our thoughts and feelings create our future. So, first things first: I had to check-in with my thoughts and feelings. If I am creating my future, I best be careful of my design! Also, I have to let go of any thoughts that are fear based because they are counter-productive. I realized that thoughts filled with fear and anxiety beget…fear and anxiety. I have been practicing the simple act of mining my thoughts. Interestingly, something clicked and somehow I unwaveringly know that everything I need is already on the way.
The Hows are the domain of the universe. It always knows the quickest, fastest, most harmonious way between you and your dream. -The Secret
Here is where I have really gotten hung up in the past: The How? Honestly, trying to figure out how I am going to find the man of my dreams to share a loving family with feels like running through a corn maze at night. Not to mention, the advice on “how” to find love is so conflicting: stop looking and you will find love vs. put yourself out there. “How” do I know which online avenue to choose with 6 million options? As it turns out, ‘the how’ does not matter. Most people with genius ideas didn’t know how it was going to work. They had a hunch, a feeling, and earnestly pursued their idea. So, Universe, thanks for taking care of the how for me (check)! Glad to scratch that and all the swirling stress that comes with it off my list!
Mind your thoughts.
As they point out in the film, we all have a ton of thoughts running through our ‘monkey minds’. The best way to monitor our thoughts is through our feelings. It is both thoughts and feelings that empower the law of attraction to create our reality. So I have been focused on my thoughts and getting clear on what fosters positive feelings. For me, there is always this weird inner conflict of “what should make me feel good” (e.g., community service) vs. “what actually makes me feel good” (e.g., a glass of wine at the end of the day). Morning coffee, a glass of red wine in the evening, loving my dog and hot baths really produce some genuinely positive feelings for me. So I made a list of what consistently makes me feel good and my mission is simple to repeat, repeat, and repeat again. I want to feel and experience joy as much as possible, the theory being that those vibrations will bring more joy into my life. Instead, of spending my energy on “how” to find a loving relationship, I am focused on how I am going to have the best day possible.
Next, be grateful! Gratitude is an easy way to shift my mind to the positive. I have been bookending my day with gratitude for the good things in my life. It doesn’t feel like work, but it is a new habit that is actually really fun! Since I’ve started doing this regularly, I notice that I am smiling a bit more, feeling happier and find little unexpected surprises from the universe are more apparent.
“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get into that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy, this is physics.”